Inspired by this hilarious video of DJ Jay Smooth trying to figure out how women are supposed to act in order to earn respect, here is my list of contradictions that mothers must muddle through starting when that sperm meets the egg.
- Don’t eat too much fish, but eat more fish.
- Get more exercise but don’t push yourself too much.
- Take control of your perfect birth, but let your doctor handle it.
- Sleep when your baby sleeps, but don’t let the house get too messy.
- Don’t let people touch your baby, but make sure you’re available to any and all visitors.
- Practice attachment parenting, but attachment parenting will make your child dependent.
- Your pediatrician knows best, but question vaccination schedules, vitamin D drops, iron supplements, and bedtime rules.
- Crying-it-out is bad, but let your baby cry it out.
- Be sexual, but don’t be a sexy mom.
- Love breastfeeding, but don’t let it show.
- Advocate for breastfeeding, but stop offending moms who don’t breastfeed.
- It’s important to stay social, but it’s impossible to have a social life.
- Return to work as soon as possible, but be available every moment for your children.
And, the kicker…
- Give everything of yourself, but keep your own identity as a woman, wife, friend, and lover.
And I know I’m missing plenty of other contradictions and double standards that we, as mothers, must negotiate every day. Which ones do you find most challenging?
Here I am trying to be mobile but making sure that my child has everything she could possibly need… not pictured: gigantic diaper bag